And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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