i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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