My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
