she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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