Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
