He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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