But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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