Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
