I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We are two peas in an std pod
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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