pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
