I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
