Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
