I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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