somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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