dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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