She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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