It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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