Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
