Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
