o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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