i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
