White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
