Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
did you just send me my own nude
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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