I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
