She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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