The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Randomize
