Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
