It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
