just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
