You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
