I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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