you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
