Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize