I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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