Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
