Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
