I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
