How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
