my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
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I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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