she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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