She's JV to your varsity
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
