We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
