I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
whose parrot is this?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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