Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
