its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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