nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize