have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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