Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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