Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We are two peas in an std pod
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
