What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We got so high we made milksteak
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize