An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
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I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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