Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
