Texts From Last Night

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  (649): View more from Turks & Caicos

  So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it

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  (649): So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it http://tfl.nu/3uw7
  Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (1234)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.

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  (918): Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited. http://tfl.nu/jj7l
  Replies (6) Good night (3505) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  im gay

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i know

  (914): View more from New York

  yea but for you.

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  (914): im gay (203): i know (914): yea but for you. http://tfl.nu/jbuy
  Replies (20) Good night (2197) Bad night (3074)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.

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  (802): Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water. http://tfl.nu/oebe
  Replies (29) Good night (1462) Bad night (6966)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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  (954): my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch http://tfl.nu/nq1q
  Replies (12) Good night (3081) Bad night (1063)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing

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  (540): i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing http://tfl.nu/o77s
  Replies (18) Good night (2619) Bad night (1482)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.

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  (401): i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house. http://tfl.nu/foqe
  Replies (7) Good night (1260) Bad night (1550)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book

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  (516): I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book http://tfl.nu/reox
  Replies (5) Good night (2219) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

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  (707): Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god http://tfl.nu/bbiq
  Replies (9) Good night (1538) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.

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  (619): He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating. http://tfl.nu/k9pn
  Replies (9) Good night (808) Bad night (2260)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.

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  (313): Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me. http://tfl.nu/c83j
  Replies (5) Good night (1252) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...

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  (702): She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her... http://tfl.nu/8w76
  Replies (6) Good night (497) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.

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  (902): You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me. http://tfl.nu/23cm
  Replies (3) Good night (1003) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.

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  (512): But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation. http://tfl.nu/31qq
  Replies (3) Good night (418) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.

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  (650): I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it. http://tfl.nu/sejz
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (210)

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