i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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