And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.