Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
