id be glad to
Fuck appropriateness.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have fence marks all over my body
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
