I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
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Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome