im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
