Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize