I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize