dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
