I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
