Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
