we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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