Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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