he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
