is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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