Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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