Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
