Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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