if you like me you must not know who I am
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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