I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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