i don't plan on having that self control this summer
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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