And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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