You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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