Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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