so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
