God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize