What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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